Unmasked.

Masks. Hmm. Interesting. Like a masquerade?
Tonight, my youth will be talking about Masks. And today, in a 'x' meeting, we have had Masquerade as a suggestion for the theme of the 'x' event.

And suddenly, today, I was also thinking, do how we act outside reflect how we act at home?
As I finished my hunt around the houses with my friends, hunting to find kind people who would come outside the house to give us money for the fundraising at our school, I then sat back into the car and talked to my dad even more politely than I normally do with him but still in the same tone as I have used around the houses. How odd...
Why do I sound different? And this is not the first time I've realised it, but this time was another striking reminder that I should treat my family as good as I do with the people outside.

It's not that I'm mean, but sometimes it's easier for me to be nice outside of the house, but less conservative at home.

But for some, it may be the opposite. They could be super nice at home, but a real meanie outside.

But the question is, why?

Are we acting differently because we are uncomfortable with ourselves? Or are we mean outside because we feel the need to defend ourselves? Are we nicer outside because we are intimidated? Are we tougher outside because we are afraid of rejection? Why?

Maybe the answer is because we don't know our identity in Christ.
For if we know that we are His sons (and daughters), we will treat everyone as our brother, and love everyone as ourselves, treating them according to what the Bible had revealed to us through the Holy Spirit.

Then you won't feel the need to put a mask on. Because now your heart is the same to everyone, everywhere. You will feel free? Free from self-consciousness and the bondage of intimidation.

You will be unmasked.
I want to one day be fully assured in my identity in Christ too.
I want to be unmasked.

How do you know your identity in Christ?
How can you know your identity in Christ if you don't know Christ's identity?
How can you know Christ's identity?
Read the Bible. Really, it's that simple. Read. The Bible.

Do you have a mask?
Are you ready to be unmasked?

Char Siew Pau.

Are you ready to die?

I had some thoughts tonight as I was reading the Bible,
Am I ready to die?

I imagined the possible future of being killed for cannibalism that might arise due to future famine, or maybe just plain being killed in the future, or maybe just dying an old peaceful death.
But either way, was I ready to die? Am I ready to die?

I would say no, honestly, 'cause right now in my life, I don't think I am giving my 100% best to God. And if so, how can I dare meet Him already? He'll ask me questions like 'Did you think homework was more important than spending time with Me?', 'You called Me your best friend but honestly, you spent more time with your best friend on Earth' and He'll be right, 'cause homework is not nearly a quarter as important as spending time with God because when I die, I won't be talking to homework everyday for eternity but I'll have my Father to talk to everyday (I hope so :) ). And He matters. He does. And frankly, He knows me so much more than my best friend does, but my response doesn't measure up.

I don't feel guilty for not spending time with Him. Okay no, I do feel a tad guilty. But guilt is not what I want to feel, because it's not a chore or a task. I want to want to know Him just because. I want to want and like spending time with Him because it's like, oh my ice cream, it's God! And it makes me sad everytime I choose something else over Him..

So why don't I not choose something else?
I wish I knew why too...
But I'm so humannnnnnn, if that makes sense..
But I know He'll be there for me, but I also know that He won't wait forever,
And the worst part of all, is that I know.. but I haven't changed.
So I must change. I must change! I must CHANGE! I MUST change!

I should start saying this everyday,
"Father, let's talk." :)

Char Siew Pau.